Showing posts from January, 2006

The difference between balance and paradox

I've been trying to figure out this prayer thing for a while. I can see obvious answers to my prayers all around me. Things like a godly wife and my children safe in my stable home were the biggest desires of my heart last year. But now I have a new prayer challenge regarding my wife and healing. Heather is in some kind of pain or another about 90% of the time. Whether it's migraines, back, neck, or stomach pain. She's gets pain in her wrists when she plays piano for very long, and strange aches in her legs or sciatic nerve pain for no apparent reason. So needless to say we never run out of things to pray for. And since our prayers never seem to work it looks like we won't be running out of things any time soon.

Which naturally begs the question: What’s the point? Well I have a couple answers off the cuff, but they don't ease the frustration of asking for something ad nauseam and getting no results. Here are my answers so far… Why pray when nothing happens…

I'm fast. No I'm not.

I'm in the middle of a week long fast from rich food and my favorite game. And I don't know why. I'm hoping it was a prompting of the Holy Spirit and not some random thought that popped into my head. I had the usual holiday diet of way too much fast food from all the traveling and such. New years eve I got Taco Bell and decided after that it was over. I needed to eat nothing but vegetables for a week. The thought developed into a fast from gluttony in general. I've been addicted to a game called Civilization IV for the past several weeks. It has everything I could want in a game. History, strategy, role play, and an epic scope. I have been gluttonous with it. And sadly, I feel like I restrained myself a lot. But realistically, it takes about 20 hours to play an average game…. And I've played several of them. For someone so freaked out about how little time I have, it's quite sad.

So now I'm trying to figure out how to cope with my losses. And…