Reflections on my 30th birthday
Well, here it is. The big three-oh. It's funny but I was more freaked out by it six months ago than I am now. Of course, I was more freaked out by everything six months ago. I think the biggest fear of turning 30 was just the conceptual leap; the gulf it could create between me and my friends at church who are mostly in their low-to-mid twenties. Since I already don't quite fit in due to the kids and a former marriage, so that little extra push outside wasn't welcome. And also I thought there might be a chance that I would find a wife among that group. (Even though I was trying NOT to think that way.) But now I'm courting a 25 year old, and so that's just not an issue any more.
And of course there are the obligatory regrets about what I wasn't able to do in my twenties. Although, really, I guess I was pretty productive. I got a degree in Industrial Design. I built a good career, at one point attaining an art lead position in charge of a dozen people. I had two kids. I learned that I need to preface most of my ideas with "I think..." I learned that I hate living in
But since I have a lot of BIG plans I hope to accomplish before I leave this place, it seems like I'm behind schedule. I guess I need to realize that it's all in God's hands and according to His timing.
I feel like I'm closing a chapter on my life. The 11 years of marriage and ignoring God is over. My winter of discontent seems to be coming to an end. I have new hope for the immediate future. Which is cool, because lately it's been hard to envision any joy coming my way soon.
I'm not getting that tattoo I was considering today. Too many things going on in my life to give me the time to design one I knew I'd be happy with for the rest of my life. Maybe later…
I guess overall it's quite a non-event. Well, I'm going to take my boys to Toys R Us and get a birthday present for myself that we can all enjoy. Maybe a remote control car or something.
I love the date my day of birth fell on… That's right. Four Twenty. Hitler's birthday. The Columbine school shootings. And the euphemism for marijuana. It's a good thing I'm a dope-smoking, neo-nazi, angry student with guns!