Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Reflections on my 30th birthday

Well, here it is. The big three-oh. It's funny but I was more freaked out by it six months ago than I am now. Of course, I was more freaked out by everything six months ago. I think the biggest fear of turning 30 was just the conceptual leap; the gulf it could create between me and my friends at church who are mostly in their low-to-mid twenties. Since I already don't quite fit in due to the kids and a former marriage, so that little extra push outside wasn't welcome. And also I thought there might be a chance that I would find a wife among that group. (Even though I was trying NOT to think that way.) But now I'm courting a 25 year old, and so that's just not an issue any more.

And of course there are the obligatory regrets about what I wasn't able to do in my twenties. Although, really, I guess I was pretty productive. I got a degree in Industrial Design. I built a good career, at one point attaining an art lead position in charge of a dozen people. I had two kids. I learned that I need to preface most of my ideas with "I think..." I learned that I hate living in Oklahoma.

But since I have a lot of BIG plans I hope to accomplish before I leave this place, it seems like I'm behind schedule. I guess I need to realize that it's all in God's hands and according to His timing.

I feel like I'm closing a chapter on my life. The 11 years of marriage and ignoring God is over. My winter of discontent seems to be coming to an end. I have new hope for the immediate future. Which is cool, because lately it's been hard to envision any joy coming my way soon.

I'm not getting that tattoo I was considering today. Too many things going on in my life to give me the time to design one I knew I'd be happy with for the rest of my life. Maybe later…

I guess overall it's quite a non-event. Well, I'm going to take my boys to Toys R Us and get a birthday present for myself that we can all enjoy. Maybe a remote control car or something.

I love the date my day of birth fell on… That's right. Four Twenty. Hitler's birthday. The Columbine school shootings. And the euphemism for marijuana. It's a good thing I'm a dope-smoking, neo-nazi, angry student with guns!

1 Comments:

Blogger Heather said...

Hey!! where is your picture?? It's not showing up!..OH! and I like your blog...but I'm pretty darn sure that I've told you that before.
I know that you had a great birthday (that's right people, I just so happen to have the inside scoop on Mr. Foreman).
I pray that God blesses you this year-that He grows you and shows you His vision for you and your two beautiful boys. I pray His strength and protection over your family and may you FIND JOY in all that you do--wherever you are, remembering to look up and thank God that you are here on earth, right where He wants you to be.

"So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and steady, always enthusiastic about the Lord's work, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless." 1 Cor. 15:58

You are not useless. Joshua Foreman-show the world how to love God!

God bless you!

   

10:23 AM  

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