Heather Foreman

Today my lil' wifey turns 39. She's also currently getting cut up by a surgeon. This is her 15th or 16th surgery (we've both lost count) in the 13 years we've been married. The last several have been for various symptoms of EDS. It's become pretty mundane at this point. So I'm going to take this time to blather about Heather Kerekffy-Foreman. Pull up a chair.

Her birthdays are hard for me because now my wife is older... no wait, that's not why. It's because her menagerie of diseases means that nothing normal girls like give her pleasure. Here's an incomplete list of things she doesn't like or that actively hurt her: Massage, hot tubs, delicious food, alcohol, jewelry, flowers. Sounds like a miserable life, doesn't it? But incredibly, she is one of the sweetest, kindest people I've ever known. She sees every pain and disease (and she is literally always suffering multiple pains) as opportunities to share her experiences in order to reach out to those who have similar issues, to make them feel not-alone, and to advocate for them to get the best medical care they can.

She is like an ascended being, and I can't even comprehend how she takes what normally debilitates people making them miserable to be around... and turns that into a blessing to those around her. So that list of normal stuff normal people love... having those cut off from her leaves her one simple pleasure in life. Connection with others. And I think because it's so focused and refined, she's a connoisseur. She does not settle for surface level relationships. If someone's not going to be real and deep and honest, their relationship with her will not last long. Never because she ditches them, but because they can't handle the deep honesty that naturally emerges from people when they encounter her pure and open essence.

She leads by example, not shy to discuss ANYTHING, happy to dive into her own flaws and weaknesses. Not only is she honest to a fault, (but never to be mean) but she's intuitive to the point of bordering on psychic powers. So she will blurt out truths about people that they didn't even know themselves, or -quite often- that they thought no one would find out. Again, never in a confrontational way... because she would honestly welcome anyone blurting out HER hidden depths, so there's no judgement or shaming in it. She just... KNOWS, and so beating around the bush is a pointless waste of time for her. She's interested in growth in love, and all her emotional energy goes towards that end.

Being married to this woman has been the most incredible experience of my life. She is such a dichotomy. At once, a fiery ball of energy that will encourage, empower and love towards anyone, and simultaneous so physically frail that most touching hurts and damages her. She continually challenges me on both fronts, and I've grown tremendously through the process of loving a woman with degenerative diseases, as well as being awed and inspired by her single minded focus on loving and helping others.

I should also mention that she's whip smart and has an incredible sense of humor. She's also a connoisseur of puns and memes. So please submit any wishes of get well sympathy in the form of a pun or a meme below. It will make her day!

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