Friday, February 04, 2005

Osculation Drama

Word had just come down from home office: Osculation would commence within the hour. Mecium got on the horn immediately. "Scramble the fighters!" he barked. He tried to hide the giddy feeling welling up inside. He had recently been promoted and chose to be transferred to the frontier. This was where the action was. This was where things got hot. Mecium liked it that way. "Sir!" Private Pep interrupted his thoughts. "Sir, home office says we gotta step down, sir! Sending endorphin diplomats! They're talking peace, sir!" Damn! Mecium's blood-lust was rising. "I will NOT settle for analgesic diplomacy this time. Those beta-bureaucrats have gone too far!" He grabbed the comm. "Get me the General." Within moments the sad news came through. "I'm sorry son, but ever since President Encephalin was elected, our policies on these matters are different. We have an open border. Our pseudopodia are tied."

"I'll be damned if foreign bodies will be allowed to roam our arteries with impunity!" Mecium grabbed his old helmet and descended to the hangar bay. "Sir! We're not authorized!" squealed Pep. Mecium pushed past him and ensconced himself in the nearest fighter, Immuno-HyHel-5. He prepped his lysis cannons, kick-started the flagellum, and burst out of the hangar. Within moments his craft was harried by a swarm of Lysozyme battle cruisers. "I knew it! That peacenik president of ours is walking into a trap!"

His first salvo caught a cruiser off guard. But there were too many. Far too many.
This could mean only one thing. The Osculation was happening ahead of schedule. And there were no defenses ready. There was no way he could defeat such an onslaught alone.

A sickening SPLAT, and Mecium knew it was over. A hull breach. His craft was hydrolyzing! "I'm going down!" A broken flagella and leaking hull made it difficult, but his seasoned skills and training proved true. He managed to coax enough power out of his craft to slide past the frontier boundary into enemy territory. He smiled grimly and flipped the switch that activated his Simplex bomb as he spun out of control. The impact of his ship detonated the explosive, and he left his spiteful mark on enemy soil.

The political fallout that occurred from this one brave act has gone down in history. The foreign president was dethroned after the frontier rebellion. No one wanted to work near ground zero, and food production diminished due to the Afferent community's ceaseless complaints. A new president, less bound by the Opiate Receptors lobby, was elected.

And peace ruled the land for generations.

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