Getting left in the dust
Work. It's not that hard. And yet… I have such a hard time with it. We shipped our game. It did really well. I just got a bonus! (Now I can pay for the hotel I reserved for my honeymoon.) Our team – the level artists- are getting split up soon. We are hiring more people and expanding into two separate teams. This brings up an obvious question: who is going to head up the other division? Well, I have had the most industry experience, and am the only other guy (besides our current lead) who has had experience being a team lead. [edit: it turns out that the guy who got the possition did, in fact, have some experiance leading a team.] No-brainer, right? Wrong. Why? Because I have been a poor employee since I got here. I've had bursts of enthusiasm that lead to praise from various people above me. But overall my performance has not been close to what I am capable of. It's pretty obvious why, if you've read my blog for any period of time you know my life is… complex. Being a single father is exhausting in many ways. And I have little free time for myself. Unfortunately that manifests at work and I get distracted easily. So now I'm seeing the fruit of that distraction. I don't get a position I was perfectly capable of moving into. Bummer.
But on the bright side, I'm getting married soon, and will get a chance to turn around my image at work. I will have a helpmate. I will have mental energy to expend at work. And I know that whatever happens, or doesn't happen here… it's all in God's hands. When I behave like a godly worker, a servant worthy of his wages, I will find grace in my employer's eyes.