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Showing posts from August, 2004

Sooooo Close!

I went swing dancing last night again.I don’t know why I feel the need to humiliate myself like this.But it’s all in good fun.I took it easier this time than I did last time.I didn’t flip around like a moron.One of the friends I went with had a sister and friend she wanted me to show a good time, so I danced with them most of the evening.Since they were really bad it didn’t make me feel so bad about me being bad.Bad.I was sitting on the windowsill cooling off when a girl came and sat next to me.She said it was her favorite spot.I asked her if she had been on the roof.She hadn’t, so I led her out the window, up the fire escape, up a twenty foot rickety ladder and onto the roof of the ballroom.It was really cool and peaceful up there.We talked for a bit, she showed me a couple of moves and we practiced them for a bit.I’m glad she was very patient with me.The Seattle cityscape, cool breeze and quite night made for a really romantic backdrop.Well… not that kind of romance…I mean in the cl…
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Feel the pain!

I need some toast to Lay on

Last night I went to a club in Seattle called Graceland to see a band I like.It’s called As I Lay Dying.For those not in-the-know I will now recreate what they sound like:Drums:Bambambambambambam…BambambambambambamGuitar:Chugchugchugchugachug…ChugchugchugchugchugVocals:Rwarrgh raaawrrrraa!….. Rwraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw!They are one of the best metalcore bands out there and they are Christians too.So want to support that.They have great lyrics that I really connect with.They talk a lot about the grace of God and our failure to match His effort.As I Lay Dyings’ set was sandwiched between two other bands.Both of which suffer from the scenes typical pseudo-satanic-shlock-horror/we-hate-weak-minded-Christians routine.Their music was really tight though.These 3 bands have been touring together for a while now, and the other vocalists had only great things to say about the As I Lay Dying crew between songs.“The sweetest guys you’ll ever meet.”“Amazing musicians.”Etc.It’s cool how they can have t…

Yeah! Another crappy blog poem!

Last night I wrote a crappy poem.It’s about that darn girl that won’t get off of my mind no matter how hard I try to remove her.Strangely, even as I was writing it, in the back of my mind, there was a feeling of thanksgiving.I was subconsciously aware that having an unrequited crush be the worst thing in my life means I have a pretty spectacular life.God is so wonderful to me.My house isn’t being shelled.I don’t have cancer.I’m not addicted to anything.My parents are both alive and well.My children are healthy and showing a love for God and His ways.And… And I’m not on fire.So all things considered, it seems kind of petty for this subject to occupy my mind.But it does.Oh drat! Just when I thought I was about to achieve perfection.(<--Sarcasm) Now I’ve written many a crappy song before.But I think this may be my first poem.And, this being a personal blog, it seems almost obligatory to have a horrible poem on here.So, without further ado…~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~That Darn…

The Soggy Bread principle

There is a universal rule that God expresses through his Word. It is that when you put Him before a good thing, that thing will be blessed.Family, career, health, sex, money, happiness, and life aspirations.I have two great examples of this in my own life.One showing the positive effect, the other shows the flip side.It was the winter of ’96 in Seattle.I had just got my first real, full-time job in the game industry a couple months earlier.My oldest son was about half a year old.Then Sierra decided to shut down our division.I was shocked and panicking.I had already spent months chasing this job, and knew there was nothing else out there for me.All the game companies at the time were looking for animators. A couple of days after we found out we were all going to loose our jobs we got a message from the corporate office saying there were positions available there.A ray of hope!Then I found out the only project they were staffing was a game called Gabriel Knight 3.A detective adventure g…

Sarcasm as a first language

I’ve been thinking about my default personality lately.Specifically my humor.C.S. Lewis warned us in The Screw Tape Letters that flippancy is a very dangerous attitude to adopt.Because it places an attitude over reason.A necessary component of flippancy is a presupposition.And presuppositions are determined by the winds of popularity.For example: everyone knows that all republicans are heartless, rich people.So when comedians joke about them, they don’t feel a need to establish this a priori.I looked up several words that might describe my humor.Here is what I found…Flippancy: unbecoming levity or pertness especially in respect to grave or sacred mattersSarcasm1: a sharp and often satirical or ironic utterance designed to cut or give pain2: a mode of satirical wit depending for its effect on bitter, caustic, and often ironic language that is usually directed against an individualSardonic: disdainfully or skeptically humorous : derisively mockingDry (Wit)14: marked by matter-of-fact, i…

Excuse me sir, but your desperate need for acceptance is showing.

I had a pretty fun day yesterday.My kids are up in Alaska visiting my former wife’s parents, so I have the freedom to hang out and do nothing for a week.My church has a service on Saturday evening and Sunday morning, so I went to both.It was great.Curt, (the pastor) asked us to think about the aspect of our life where we didn’t feel Christ was meeting our needs fully.Such as finances, relationships, etc. We grabbed another person and prayed through that issue with them.Mine was romance.Like I stated earlier, I just have this gnawing desire to give it, but no appropriate outlet for it.Then the sermon was about loving God.He actually used the word ‘romance’ right at the beginning.Which was interesting, since he hadn’t the night before.I still don’t know how to ‘romance’ God.There are a few obvious differences between Him and a woman.Let me just calculate here….Hmm, yeah, approximately 12 quabillion differences.So I don’t know how analogous I can get with that.But I do know that God has …

I hereby declare Virgin Black to be the best band ever

Have you ever liked a thing?Then found out there was some aspect of that thing that made you like it more?Was that a vague enough intro for you?Well Virgin Black does that for me.I liked music before.I mean, really, really liked it.But now the courtship is over.I’ve found my soul mate.We are getting married next Tuesday.I first heard Virgin Black several years ago on an Australian metal compilation album.I wasn’t ready for my true love at that point.I only liked stuff where the vocalist sounded like they were gargling with razor blades.Stuff like Vengeance Rising, Mortification, and Living Sacrifice.So it wasn’t love at first site.A couple of years ago I started buying music from Flaming Fish.They specialize in dark, electric, ambient, goth, and electronic stuff made by Christians.(Though the ‘Christian’ label gets handed out as easily as Roman citizenship did in 100 A.D.) So I was surprised when I saw a band from my olden days on sale there a couple of months ago.I bought Sombre Roma…

The Crimson Hymnal Concept

Here is a thing….Yes, that’s right; a thing.I’ve sent this to several Christian musicians I know.The music pastor at my church says he really likes the idea and he is going to help me with it.God works in mysterious ways.The Crimson Hymnal ConceptJoshua C. Foreman ~ 8/2004joshforeman@gmail.comGeneral Explanation:For some reason beyond my understanding God has given me a burden to create a worship album.I find it odd, because I don’t know much about music, and am not generally a fan of worship music beyond its functional aspect as facilitation for people to commune with God.This desire can all be explained without the spiritual bent as another one of my oft temerarious projects.In fact, I have been planning on making music for quite some time.Recent events in my life have led me to a deeper love and understanding of God.So you could say these two trajectories crossed, and the natural conclusion would be the desire to tackle this project.To be honest, I am not close enough to God to be …

My unique work environment and the joy of losing lust

I work at a computer game company. I do art and design for the levels of a massive multiplayer on-line game. For the most part it is the most professional and politically correct game company I have ever worked at. We have a diverse staff of around 70. We have minorities, homosexuals, and an admirable female to male ratio. (For a game company.) Instead of cubicles, there are several rooms with 5-8 employees against the walls, monitors facing the center of the room. So that cuts down on the rampant porn and IMing that goes on at most of the other places I’ve worked. Of course each room has a different atmosphere due to the different combinations of people. Somehow I ended up in a little bubble of putrescence within the PC atmosphere of the rest of the company. And the sad thing is that the putrescence is an exact mirror of my darker side. In fact, I’m one of the worst in there. The only one worse than me when it comes to vulgar humor is the cute Korean (Born, but raised in …

Puppy love stinks!

I’ve only had one girlfriend in my life.And I ended up marrying her.So when it comes to the issues covered in pop music, the dating and breaking-up business, I’m quite the greenhorn.I remember listening to Linkin Park's latest album last year, and really feeling the emotions and attitudes he was expressing, then thinking to myself, “Wow, for a kid, that guy has a lot of wisdom and insight.”Then I realized I was the immature one.I was connecting to his words because I was going through my very first break-up.Well, now that I’ve done what just about everyone in the universe has done by the time they are 14, I’m on the flip side of it.Now I’m developing crushes.Now I’m pathetic in that self loathing kind of way.So what do I do about this?I don’t know.I’ve prayed that God would help me to redirect these feelings into something healthy.I thought maybe I could shunt them into my boys.But the fact is that I already love them as much as I can.There is nothing lacking in my relationship wi…

I’m pathetic. But not in that self-loathing sort of way.

I used to be embarrassed about my foibles.Now they amuse me.Well, they still embarrass me, but they also amuse me.Here is a good example... I’m a spaz.No doubt about it.It annoys even me.I’ve always had a propensity for physical shenanigans like falling down stairs and flipping over rails.Why?Because I can.And I’m sure there is some deep-seated emotional issue involved as well.So here I am at the Century Ball Room in Seattle with my church group.We are trying to learn to swing dance.I’ve met most of them a time or two, but don’t know anyone very well.So naturally, this is a time for a cool, calm demeanor.Have some relaxed conversations…So naturally I did the opposite.I danced like a fool, flipped onto my back a couple of times and, I was told later, pulled up a girls shirt a bit.(I didn’t mean to, honest!)I even danced with a gay guy who had studs all over his face and leopard spots tattooed on his scalp.So I made a complete ass of myself and instantiated that image of me on everyone…

So who am I? What am I?

Being freshly divorced, (Which is akin to being freshly disemboweled.) I am questioning the future.Unfortunately, the future doesn’t want to talk to me. I’m doing a lot of those clichéd just-divorced maneuvers like changing my diet and exercising. I haven’t bought a fancy new sports car though. One of the differences between me and most newly-divorced men is that my kids live with me 100% of the time.So I have to spend most of my free time doing Mr. Mom stuff.I’m going to this fantastic church, Lake Sammamish Foursquare, and loving all the people I have met so far.I started going to their college and career group. And here is my problem.Well, I have lot’s of problems.Here is one of them…I’m older than every single person in that group.None of them have been married.None of them have kids.So why am I going?Because I have more in common with them than people who are married with kids.Those folks are usually 10 years older than me.I seem to occupy this gray area where very few others are…

Some Vital Stats:

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Just incase anyone else ever reads this.These bulleted items will help you understand my unlimited brilliance!Josh Foreman...Has a very, very dry sense of humor.If you ever read anything that makes me seem arrogant, or cruel, please imagine that they are written in the ‘sarcasm’ font.I hate the stupid little winking emoticon, and there is no sarcasm font.So I get misunderstood a lot.For some reason I think it’s funny to project an image of myself that is in direct opposition to my actual personality.The sad part is, in doing so, others can only interpret me as that way.Weep for me!Is super intelligent and better than everyone else.(I was just testing you.Did you read the last bullet point?)Grew up in the military.My dad was a dentist in the Air Force.I was born in Seattle, moved to Japan, then PortlandOregon, then San AntonioTexas, then North Pole Alaska.I never lived anywhere for more than 5 years.I’m p…

Introduction

Like all good stories, this one begins with a horrible divorce…

So here I am. A single-father of two boys, 5 and 8. I'm 29. I decided to start blogging because I felt like a jr. high girl when I started writing in a journal on my bed. Mostly, I just thought it would be a cool way to look back at myself. (Hi future self!) Also, I wouldn't mind connecting with some folks who might get something out of my thoughts. Not that I think I'm a genius who's thoughts must be heard or anything! But I'm willing to bet there may be someone who is going through similar things in their life. If not, well then, I'm back to the time-capsule idea.